Days like these...

I really hate days like these.. They're awful. Every morning I wake up not wanting to go to school. Put a smile on for the world to see when inside I feel like crying. Most days I'm in so much pain, seem to always feel ill. Hugs help a bit but one from him would be best. Today in form I wasn't feeling happy but I spoke to him on Facebook and he made me smile. Now something is wrong and I can't stop thinking about him. His name online but knowing not to talk to him kills me. Hope tomorrow is a better day. The snow doesn't help either. It's more like ice. People throw them at me because I'm not "popular". Makes me feel horrible and disappointed in myself. I'm too cowardly to stand up for myself. Don't tell anyone about it and just take the things in. Right now I'm laid down hugging a hot water bottle because it makes me feel secure. Rather be alone but company makes me feel like I'm wanted. Argh. I hate my life sometimes. Wish I was a better person.