Life

Life is a wonderful thing for most people. To be honest I'd rather be dead or tragically become ill! -.- I've held it in for so long, put a smile on my face and when I have told people how I feel... they don't care (don't expect them to) but also they don't know to the extent of how bad it is for me. They make jokes, fair enough but after a while it gets too much. There are times like now... I really just hate my life! Grrrrr! So many things I can just explain how bad but all you people don't care. I know one person that reads this, not all the time either. Yet I still do it because its a way to get my feelings out. Hmph -.-
Until the next rant. Bye.

Mew

I should be in hospital tbh hahaha meh!

Special Christmas Blog

Oh look! it's Christmas! Whilst everyone is happy with their family and friends i'm sat alone in my room whilst everyone else is downstairs. Fun eh? Yay socks! Ahh who am i kidding eh? :/ it doesn't feel like Christmas at all. Things have changed and it's the first Christmas without my aunty :( tomorrow is her birthday so I plan on getting wasted. It sucks to be me. I hate my life. Merh :/ just smile and everyone will think i'm fine :/ Bye guys, hope you had a better christmas than me x

Challenge for Xmas Eve:If you had to be any animal what would you be?

A dinosaur because no one can find me :)

Challenge...5, i think:Describe in detail your idea/views on Christmas

Personally I think that Christmas has lost the true meaning and why we first started celebrating it. Today people associate  it with presents and gifts to people. The true meaning of Christmas is celebrating the birth of Jesus. I see it as a time to think about the ones we have lost and to spend time with family (because i'm not religious) It shouldn't matter about what gifts you get but it should matter on who's there. We can't help that people have left us and we can't have them back but we can think about their memories and enjoy it instead of being depressed (haha not going to happen) People worry about Christmas and moan that it won't come. They moan that it won't snow and then when it does they will still moan. So yeah.. I think Christmas has lost it's true meaning.

Might not be able to blog for the next few days soo... Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year :D

Return of the Chalenge!: One food for a month

It's been simplified because I kept forgetting :) my bad. Anyway so the food I would have for a month is cheese on toast. It's nice, warm, nommy and quick to make. I can't cook it so i'd have to get someone else to do it but you didn't specify in who had to cook it :) It has to be white bread and sliced mild cheese! otherwise it's just bleugh. This is probably what I will live on if I ever move away from home. Have to learn how to cook it first but I'll get there :) Byeee

Challenge 4? I don't know.. confuzzled.

So last night I couldn't sleep so asked Rach to give me my challenge so I could think about it. She gave me one, something to do with if the planet wasn't like ours anymore or something would I consider becoming an aliens pet or die? My simple answer was just die so she gave me another task. I can't remember what it was..... erm I remember saying cucumber but that's it. This is just an update blog until I come in contact with her to give me another hehe.

So yeah today i've been to town. I look like a rabbit. Had an interesting conversation last night with someone, I wish we talked like that all the time.. Ohh I need something really scary to send so if anyone has any ideas? :) Tiger is sleeping in my room as on from tonight. Oh for everyone who doesn't know who Tiger is.. it's my rabbit :D YAY!

Awwwh he's a little meerkat.. *simples* at the moment he's in a bucket... being a weird little bunny. Easily entertained by a cloth.

Everyone ready for Christmas? Nope. Not surprised, got to that age where I feel awkward receiving gifts and not really excited about it. I'll be more concentrated on the baby!

Yay Halifax, they can get lost.

Cya later with the actual challenge! But Rach your challenge: What would you rather be, a mushroom or a llama and why?

Today's Challenge: If you could be someone for a day, who would it be and why?

So originally I set this challenge for my friend and she decided that she was going to ask me the same one. I woke up with this challenge for some strange reason. I've had all day to think about this and I can't choose on just one person. Now that I think about it... there's more people so here they are....

My Mum: I would want to be my mum because I want to see how much she actually does for everyone and give her a days rest. It's amazing how she can solve and sort everyone else out as well as herself. She doesn't have much time to herself and yet she has two children that are getting to that awkward age. One still living at home. A husband that works all day and a mother who isn't really capable of doing much. Now to think about it, if it wasn't for my mum my nanna would be really stuck. So would many people. I found out something today that I wish I hadn't, I wish that I had the thing rather than my mum :/ I love you

A Teacher: I would want to be a teacher just to see how irritating I and others are. See life in his perspective and see if it's easier outside of school. I know that teachers dedicate lots of time to us. It doesn't just stay at school... work is marked and planned in their own time at home. They have their own life to live yet seem to get mixed up with our work. This one teacher means a lot to me and I want to know how difficult it is for him. He's really organised and so dedicated to his job, helps us way more than all of the other teachers do. He is seperated from the rest because of the past when he's taught family. Ever since he found out he taught my brother then it's been different. I feel as if things would have been so much different if he hadn't of taught my brother. I would be normal in a sense of.. not prioritized from everyone else. I think I love you

This last one is complicated, it's different and kind of special. Lately I haven't been able to stop linking things to this person. It's good in a way to try and help me block someone else out of my mind but bad in the case that of how I think I am starting to feel. So here's the last person that I would want to be....

Friend: He showed great interest in me when we first met. This carried on for a while.. good year or so. At first I was freaked out about this. I backed away and carried on with my life.  He said I reminded him of his sister which I thought was sweet. There's one incident that happened that I probably won't forget.... and i just keep thinking about it. He moved away but I still see him but just not to talk to. He added me on Facebook, still talked and he always asks how my family are, he's really sweet and caring. The other month he told me that he reads every single post I put up on there. I don't know if this is because he somehow likes me or just because he cares? I try to talk to him whenever he's on but he never seems to have time or doesn't seem that happy to talk to me. I want to be this person because I want to see how he feels about me. If he knows that I care about him too. I need to know if I hurt him or not. It's not as simple as it sound. I feel so guilty and starting to like you.

My life is so complicated and messed up I don't know what to do. I'm very rarely happy and I've got a illness linked to stress. I wish that one day I will see all of these peoples life. I wish them all the best and I hope that I will keep in contact will all of them. One thing I do know is that whatever happens.... They will always stay in my mind and my heart.

Until next time.... cheereo!

Weird Challenge: Llamas

Right so I've been told to go look at pictures of llamas and make a blog about it. Originally it was chocolate but personally I can't do a whole blog about that. To be honest I can't do that with llamas either hence "little" help I got from the internet.....

Llamas: They're fuzzy, retarded and amazingly awesome. Here's a song!

Here's a llama,
there's a llama,
and another little llama,
fuzzy llama,
funny llama,
llama llama,
duck.
llama llama,
cheesecake,
llama,
tablet,
brick,
potato,
llama,
llama llama,
mushroom,
llama,
llama llama,
duck!
i was once a tree house,
i lived in a cake,
but i never saw the way
the orange slayed the rake,
i was only three years dead
but it told a tale,
and now listen, little child
to the safety rail.
did you ever see a llama?
kiss a llama?
on the llama?
llama's llama?
tastes of llama?
llama llama?
duck!!
half a llama,
twice the llama,
not a llama,
farmer,
llama,
llama in a car,
alarm a llama,
llama,
duck!
is this how it's told now?
is it all so old?
is it made of lemon juice?
doorknob.
ankle.
cold.
now my song is getting thin..
i've run out of luck D:
time for me to retire now.. (old people these days)
and become a duck! :)

Hope you enjoyed that! haha so yeah they're weird yet there's a song written about them... jeez.

Interesting things about Llamas....

They can live upto 20-30 years.
Llamas are very social animals.
There are now over 158,000 llamas in the world O_o more sheep though!
Llamas are intelligent and can learn simple tasks after a few repetitions oooh :D
Although early writers compared llamas to sheep, their similarity to the camel was soon recognized. YAY sheep
Classed as Camel-like animals.
Llamas are vegetarians.. (HI5) :P
They don't bite.. ;) only spit hah

So yeah I hope you enjoyed this interesting topic on llamas.... Get ready for more strange challenges. At least mine wasn't Pandas like I gave RayRay to do :D mwuhahaha Byee.

Challenge 1: Decribe your perfect/ideal place to be.

Ok so... this is really weird to say this, does it have to be a place or can it be with someone because that's a place right? Well I'll do it for both. I hate you for making me do this... because obviously it obsructs of my challenge I set myself but ahh well.

Place 1: It would be in Paris in a comfy flat by myself or with a friend. It would be modern but with little adjustments to make it fit in with the French/Parisy theme along with little parts of something that reminds me of home. I have this planned out kind of haha. If it couldn't be there then it would be the same thing but bring the French to Doncaster in a little flat same thing in/near town. It would be classic. Oh and very shiny and sparkly at Christmas time.

Place 2: This would be with a person. You probably now know who it is.... I don't care where it would be situated. Even if it was just living with or next door to him then i'd be happy. More preferable to be with him but I know that won't happen. It'd be nice to see him everyday. That would make me happy, even if I do stop liking him, because even if I don't like him like that anymore then it would be nice to live near someone you know and it would bring back memories.

Place 3: I guess i'm fantasizing about the other 2 places but I guess everybody's perfect place to be is well... at home. I know I complain that my parents are annoying and that I can't wait to move out etc. but I know that i'd be lost without them. I used to fight with my brother and now he's moved and got his own family, I miss him. It's good to know that everything is under control. Yeah we may have arguments and don't exactly hug and kiss or show our emotions but I love them. I really do. Home is that one place you feel safe. I mean, i've lived in this house all of my life. I feel that i'll be forgotton if I leave and there's so many memories here but I know that i'll have to one day. I can't stay here all my life.

There you go! My perfect/ideal places to be. It's tough but I hope i've done it right. Can't wait for the rest of the challenges... :) byee

Weirdness...

So basically to sum it all up i've failed the exam. Ever since about 5 this morning i've been nervous about it... been physically feeling really sick, headache, stomache cramps and shaking. It still carried on until when i left the cubboard. Then I guess I was feeling glad for what I have achieved (nothing to do with the exam, others will know what i'm on about) but then felt rather down when the teacher walked in the classroom and then on for the last 10 minutes I wasn't feeling exactly... happy. One thing i've found out is that I tend to be, hyper after the nerves have gone. How the hell a person can be sad and hyper at the same time I really don't know... but merh. There's now going to be one thing on my mind till we go back to school :/ ahh this is going to be fun..not.

Panic, nerves, mind everywhere!

So yeah here I am once again panicking like mad! I may possibly be recording my French speaking exam tomorrow. Today we only managed to record 6 and that was with the bell ringing, so how we're meant to record 7 with the delay of extended form time.. I really don't know. All throughout since the recordings started i've been feeling fine because I knew that I was going to be last as the teacher told me. Today in the lesson I couldn't remember any of it and parts that I did, I missed information out on. After the lesson I was miserable. Don't know why..... maybe the fact knowing that i'm going to fail tomorrow got to me? I've been feeling rather down after and during my french lessons lately, don't know why, it's the only lesson I enjoy yet becoming miserable in. I'd much rather sky dive then do the exam tomorrow. Since I got in at 3:30 i've done nothing but hard-core revision. I've re-created and wrote all of my exam out (probably missed all the main parts out) Personally I don't think it's detailed enough. Which links to what he said in my ROA. Being last means having high expectations of me. He's done this so it's better for me but if I mess up then it would have been wasted, could put me first, still have no change :/ argh! Writing this i'm starting to shake, nerves are kicking in. Maybe if I stay up all night I might be able to learn it all? but yet again i'd probably forget it all by tomorrow. Wouldn't be so bad if it was the few lessons after dinner so I could revise more but no it's first YAY! :( I've failed, i know i have! I have a feeling I will end up swearing in the exam, it's what I tend to do know when I say something wrong or panic. Oh god. I guess another thing that's making it worse is the fact that i've got to sit in a cubboard sized room with my teacher speaking french that I can't understand. We get to wait outside and learn our exam when the other person records. It's good...apart from all you can hear is them speaking really good and trying to read yours to the pace and running out of things to say. I think the mystery question is going to throw my completely this time :/ Argh i'm going to be down and then everything will mess up and merh! D: argh I might just burst out crying, it's what I feel like doing right now, in the exam and now in the lessons. Hmph. Best get back to revising :( bye

Merh...

Feeling like that again... just merh. Rubbish. Don't know what to do. My responses to people and just one or two words long. Need to talk to someone but I can't. It's crappy. I reckon i'll be like this lesson 2 tomorrow :/ merh. Well... at least I blogged, bye

French Exam...

So I have my last French speaking exam coming up on Friday.... The teacher expects me to be great because i'm going to be the last person to be recorded which means I have the longest time to revise it. It's a lot of pressure and I think it's all getting to me :/ I can only remember:
L'année dernier je suis  allée au caming, au bord de la mer avec ma famille.  C'est située au sud de la France qui s'appelle St. Jean de Monts. Normalement le temps il faissait soleil. Au village est assez grande et ne modé pas. On va voyage en voiture et en bateau parce que mes parents detesté en avion parce que c'est trop cher! Je suis ecouté de la musique dans mon IPod. Je vais partir á spet heures et je pense que le voyage est trés long et enneyeux!..... Qu'est-ce que tu fais pendant les grande vacances.
Took me two lessons just to learn that?!?! only got 2 maybe 3 to learn about 5 times that! I'm screwed. To say I want to take it at A level.... the only thing stopping me from achieving my grades is my speaking! I just get nervous, can't memorise it all, which if I do, it's probably wrong and doesn't make sense anyway and grr I  hate having no confidence :( if anyone can help please just email me? D: not looking forward to Friday.... what a day to end the term :/

Quick Post

Yeah, haven't blogged for a while so thought i'd do a quick one because my wrist is killing :( so yeah i'm still alive... unforntunately. Life's crap and I fail in everything.

Finally...

So its finally happened, I've admitted I'm in love with him. :/ gah going to be a tough one getting out of this!

Jobs

Most people would be happy with a job like me. I babysit for a couple down the road, have been for 2years now. I started when I was 13 which is good going. I've made over £1000 from them which I can't complain about. The job is good pay to say what I do. There's a few problems though... 1- they seem to take advantage of me on new years and christmas.
2- they never say when they will be back so I don't know how long to stay
3- the kid is a spoilt brat. :/ no other way to say it. She moans when I don't let her do what she wants. She's greedy and every time I come now, she thinks she can get her way and its really getting on my nerves now.
The thing is, a job is a job and its good. I can't complain about anything apart from the kid. It does involve spending my Saturday nights being bored shitless rather than being with my mates but I do it for the money. Now that I'm 15, I want a different job. One that makes me feel responsible and that my parents will be proud. Most people I know my age have part time jobs now. I wish I could be like them rather than having this job. :/ as I'm.writing this I'm working, just shows how much spare time I have haha... bye

Awkwardness

You know when you're getting obsessed with a person when everywhere you go.. it smells of them. They're all you think about and everything reminds you of them. It's even harder when you're with them and they don't know how you feel. It's hard. I guess I should try to talk to him more but how? I need his advise but I physically can't confidently talk to him :(

Plans

So I'm thinking of getting a flat in/ near town. It'd be a lot easier and if I need anything then its not far away. I've always wanted to get a flat in town.. don't know why. First I'll make sure I have enough money,  maybe learn how to drive..if not before I get a place then there's always buses. I mean, I love my parents but they get on my back, get in my way and restrict me from doing things. I'm 15, its tough being one of the youngest in the school year... everyone turning 16, getting jobs but I have to wait. A flat would make me feel more grown up. Obviously I'm not going to get a place of my own now..possibly when I'm 18, with a friend maybe. I like to be lonely sometimes. At home I feel left out. My parents and brother drive.... brother is married with a son. Yet I'm here...clueless of what to do in 6/7 months time. Homework takes up my time as well as guitar and after school revision for exams. It seems like I have a continuous schedule playing on repeat every week. I have no life..very lucky if I leave the house. I tend to go town sometimes but even then my parents insist of taking me because they don't trust me getting a bus. A flat would be really helpful to me right now. In town so I can get the bus to my friends, school and parents house. Guitar is stationed in town like most things are. Its a whole lot easier! Wishful thinking... bonsoir! :)

Why?

First of all.... DON'T TAKE GRAPHICS. It is a complete waste of time and effort, the all day exams are so bring and my arm kill. I got ran over by a parked car yesterday.. yes it wasn't moving. Anyway..rant over now onto the blog. So why? why me? why this? I'm pretty sure this crush and liking has gone on for far too long... surely it must be love now? I mean there is literally no other explination, if it was just crush then it would have gone now, and i wouldn't feel like this. Grrr argh! I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. I try so much not to feel this way but i can't help it. I try to forget about him but that's impossible :/ bleh! I 'm missing most French lessons lately due to exams and appointments :( that sucks. It's not fair..why can't I miss something useless like English or Geography? I need to attend French.. it's what I want to carry on after school, I guess it means I 'll have to go to catch up sessions after school. I don't mind it, morer than happy to do it but I can't go by myself, it was a disaster last time I went to speak. I get so nervous when around him. I avoid him as much as I can (talking) anyone help?

Sleep...

You really don't know how much I need sleep. Its hard to stay awake but I know I have to. Grr.

Bye for a few days

<p>Hey! Well that one person has started talking to me more and I don't know why.... anyway, I've failed my french. :/ I won't be blogging for a few days..going to babysit my little nephew. :) didn't blog last night had too much to do..anyway au revoir!

Thankyou -.-

That's it now...all I see is the initials.. I have F13 on my hand but obviously it looks like FB. A very strange question was asked today. Now I can't stop thinking about it. Not long now left of school. :( grr having a dream tonight, is it weird that its only every 2days? Hmm. Tomorrow should be interesting! Au revoir

Random blog about various things

So... really want a tongue piercing! Can't have one till I'm 18 though. :/ damn. I'm laid in bed. Can't sleep -.- as usual, thinking of that person. :/ interesting French lesson today... told him yesterday that I wouldn't be in his lesson, turns out my exam was only 30 mins long.. so I went to french.. he thought I was his imagination. :') he does make me laugh. I wasn't paying attention to when he set the homework so have to go and see hin tomorrow. Oh balls I have my last zumba session tomorrow. :( got my shiny coin belt though. :D wooo! Haha. Shleeeping at fwiends house :3 gonna be interesting to freak a few people out. Hippopotamus' don't get enough Oregonians << huh? Recognition* pft stupid phone.. oh yeah! I've now got blog on my phone so I'll probably be blogging more when I'm out and about. Rememberance assembly tomorrow... bunch of people trying to sing and act (failing) should do it seperate. I think its the small teacher in assembly hehe! Urm. French exam Thursday and Friday... then graphics week after, that's it I think. Nearly 11 wide awake.. I think I'm nocturnal O.o urmm awkward? Best sleep. Night!

Dreams

Ok so now my dreams are really getting out of hand.. first he said he loves me.. then he hugged me...and last night he asked me to marry him. Help. I don't know what to do. I love him but my dreams make things awkward. I dream about him every night or every other night. I can't stop thinking about him and everything links to him. Merh! :( I'm stuck between two worlds. Its hard... I need mental help!!

What happens when you finish your maths exam early..

So yeah... finished my maths exam 35minutes early today. Bad thing. I started singing J’adore and La Banane in my head and started dancing. Then I came across... why don’t chickens, pigs, sheep and cows eat themselves, or eachother? Wouldn’t it be awesome watching a zombie sheep chasing all the other sheep around the field? Why do I think these things? :L Oh then I realised that I’m missing the only lesson I like tomorrow due to a useless chemistry re-sit exam.. yay L I got a turtle hat! Random sorry. Merh... I’m loved more... woo! Haha

Oh.. now I can’t look at a Malteaser in the same way again!

Help?

I keep going on that I like this person. I can’t actually say who it is but argh  :/.There are times like these when I generally don’t know what to do. I don’t like talking to my friends about it a lot because I know they will say something about it or joke about it. They don’t know the whole truth on how I feel. Now I decided to write all my thoughts on here but it’s all the time that I’m thinking about him. He’s even in my dreams and just everywhere. He’s always with me in my thoughts and my heart but I can’t tell him. I think that is one of the problems. Amongst all the other problems that ‘pop up’ with this situation, the hardest part is not being able to tell him. I love him. Simple. I can’t stop thinking about him! I could be happy one moment then absolutely depressed the next. I can just about to force a fake smile but it’s the feelings that lie within that smile that are worse. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how I will cope when I leave school in a few months :/ I guess just make the most of him as I can? Hmm. Best go... got maths exam tomorrow. Until next time, tally ho.

The next few months...

Time is one of those things that you can't change. You can change what happens in that time and the actions you do but you can't change how long. We can choose to stay places longer but then that extra time then dissappears and you can't claim it back. Once something is done you can't change it. The time I want to change is school. Most of you will now be thinking.. why? The truth, I am scared of loosing what I already have. The skills, friends, teachers and comfort. All of them will change in a few months and I don't want it to.

People will be going to the prom in June, saying bye and celebrating that they have finished school then all go their seperate ways like going to college and getting jobs. I don't want to go to the prom for many reasons:
1) I'll be sat alone in the corner or the room
2) I will be wearing a dress that I hate
3) I will be sad for the reason that someone will be there that I don't want to leave and if I go then it could be the last time I see him, I don't want that to happen.
4) All the popular girls will get the attention and my friends will be having a great time being retards and I want them to have the best night (which includes me not being there)
5) Pictures will be taken!
6) My parents will spend money on me that I don't need... It's just a party to say bye really and they can spend the money on something that is worth it.
People are trying to make me go but.. I don't know :/  I don't want to let them down by not going but don't want to spend their night making me dance.

A few months ago I would have been more than happy to leave school and everything. But now I don't want to, I want to stay where I feel comfortable. The teachers know what i'm capable of an know how to help and what conditions work better in. My friends are mostly in the same lessons and I see them everyday. The school it's self isn't that bad. I know my way around and feel safe when i'm there. I'm going to miss them so much especially the teachers because it will be the last time I see them.

When I was younger I always wanted to grow up and be like my brother. Now i'm grown up all I wish is to be young again. Being young.. the only problem you have to think about is what colour crayon to use. Life is all happening too fast. Having to choose my own future when I don't know what  I want to do. The only thing I know is who I will be friends forever with ( god help them) and who I want to spend  life with (which will never happen) The time that you can waste without a worry is sleep.. but even then dreams tak over your mind. I don't want to grow up and leave, soon it will be home that I leave. Yeah I wish I had my own place so I could do what I want but then i'd be lot because, without my parents I wouldn't know what to do.

Feelings-
This is one thing that i'm certain of, even if people tell me it's wrong .. i don't care. I know it's impossible but dreaming and wishing is probably the only thing that keeps me happy. My friends make me smile and laugh but he makes me lugh, smile, happy and when he concerntrates on me only.. when we're alone or having a conversation.. i feel special, even though I know i'm not. He is one at the prom that I don't want to say goodbye to yet I don't want to leave with things being awkward between us.

 I just want to say thankyou to my friend. Without her..i'd be in a right mess, I wouldn't know what to do or how to overcome this. You're my best friend and I know that I won't loose you because I won't let that happen... thankyou... I love you :)

Life, retards, penguins, ninjas and dinosaurs

Haha wow.. I don't know why this title was in my history :') ahh that's me amused for a while. Erm, last night I didn't have a dream :) must have let me have a night off..then made Rachel have one instead, which I shall find out in about 2 hours when I meet her in town :D YAY! Does anyone knnow where you can buy squishy penguins..? It for a good purpose honest! Today I got the rash again (for those who know what i'm on about) but I think it's fading now. Now to the sad part.. i'm getting ill.. nooo! but hey it's from a great person so I don't really mind. Over the next few weeks I have got exams and concerts.. blah so I won't be blogging as much. I will try to do one everyday or every other day but I can't promise anything sorry! Ohh Tetrahedron is  dinosaur! not a shape :) bet you didn't know that huh? I'm meant to be doing Geography homework and some revision right now but i generally can't be bothered, he didn't exactly specify on what I had to do after I watched the video for France. Damn.. babysitting tonight -.- but hey! it's money which is a better reason to meet up with my retards (friends) .. which like to jump like ninjas into walls on the bus :) Well as you can see my life is very exciting.. YES included everything in the title .. because i'm awesome like that..haha! Right Toodle Pip!

Weird and unexplainable dreams

So... My friend first had a dream about our teacher.. was fairly normal kind of. Our teacher walked past us with a plate of jelly and said "Tally Ho!" Hmm... but since then, i've been having them. It's the same person that keeps appearing in them. First one my teacher came up to me in lesson and he said "I love you" yeah I was worried. Other dreams have passed but now they are starting to 'link' to my life. The other night I dreamt i went to the hospital and he was my doctor and he was reading The Daily Mail. This is weird because I yet have to go to a hospital appointment. Last night, dreamt that I spoke to him after an exam and then he walked me home and he caught the bus... well tonight I stayed behind to to Geography work and he was in the next room and he smiled to me through the door. Then I was just leaving school and so was he... I saw him walking faster and wondered 'what the hell is he doing?' Oh right he was walking faster to catch up to me! We talked and he caught the bus as I walked home. Maybe my dreams are making my life but are just scrambled up? It's weird that it's this teacher because he's the one I like. Coincidence or just fate? I'll keep you updated :P

Problems

Right, so there's this person that i really really like. He's really funny, a bit strange but most people take advantage of him. The problem... he's my teacher :/ there's an on growing problem with this as my group of friends have little jokes that link to him. Only 2 of my friends know about this. Ever since i confessed how i feel about him, i've been feeling more awkward around him or when someone mentions his name. I never used to talk to him much to start off with but now, i hardly do. It's got to the stage where i have to see him every day at least. At the moment he's ill, but still comes to school. I feel so sorry for him. In about 3 months I will leave school and i know that i'm really going to miss him. I've known him for 5 years and how i feel has grown stronger over the years. I really don't know what to do. Me and my friend have decided to add him on Facebook when we leave (and when it's legal) Our plan is to get this card for him and write showing how much we are thankful for everyhing he's done. Unlike most teachers, he actually cares if we pass or fail. I can't stop how i feel because i've already tried it before. My friends that know, don't really know to what extent i like him. This makes going to school tough but when i know that i'm going to miss his lesson.. then it's even harder. I really don't know what to do anymore, I don't know if when i leave, that i would still like him. What should i do? :/ 

How it all began..

HELLO! Right.. so yeah, i'm new to this. My friend Rachel told me to read her blog about the french exam.. hah and inspired me to make one :') bless her little cotton socks :3 i thought it would be amusing to share my life seen as it is just hilarious. I will try to upload one every week at least but maybe more.. oooh! hehe